Always There
by Don't Be Such A Sour-Wolf
Summary: Pre-Clone Wars. "Dear Monsters Under the Bed, My bed is on the floor now, suck on that! Sincerely, Ahsoka Tano." A very young Togruta child has trouble sleeping, a future friend helps her. Unashamed fluff! I'm not even sorry. Now a mini-series spanning pre to post clone wars consisting of one shots depicting the relationship between Anakin and Ahsoka
1. Scary Monsters and Togruta Children

**AN: This was inspired by something I read on 'Dear Blank, Please Blank'. This is potential the weirdest, most pointless thing I've ever wrote but the blasted idea wouldn't get out of my mind so I wrote it for the sake of my peace of mind.**

**Disclaimer: Star Wars is owned by Disney (feels weird saying that), it's their sandbox, I just play here.**

A clash of thunder broke the eerie silence that had enveloped the temple that night, only mere seconds after the lightning that had just hit. It was the coldest night in a century on Coruscant. The temperature had long since plummeted into minus numbers. At only midday the thermostat had read -12oC. Yes, one could've predicted that night would've only gotten worse.

Another deep rumble struck, seeming to echo through the walls and sing through the floors. The brilliantly loud crash was followed by the quick footsteps of one particular occupant, and the soft thuds and stomps as she scurried around her room in fear.

A fairly loud banging noise was quick to follow the footsteps, much unlike the loud crashing of the thunder. This bang was the sound of something heavy hitting a solid surface. More specifically, this bang was the sound of a young Togruta child falling to her hands and knees so she could peer under her bed, wide eyes and trembling hands.

She shouldn't be frightened.

But...it was so _scary_.

The lightning seemed to illuminate all the crevices and magnify all the shadows to an extent where the child would swear that someone stood in the room with her. The pitter-patter of the rain sounded like the whispering of a thousand voices and, like any child, she had determined the voices to exist under her bed; the only true hiding place in the bare room.

The girl stood up shakily. There was something else in this room. She wasn't alone. Everyone else was wrong. And, she wasn't crazy. She could hear the whispering and she saw the shadows and _everyone else was wrong_. This room was far too crowded for it to be empty.

The child let out a loud squeak of fright when a banging on her door broke through the whispers and the shadows. The door bounced from the force exerted through the person's knocking.

"Can you shut up in here? Some people are trying to sleep." When the person on the other side of the door received no answer, he upped the ante on his banging and demanded. "Youngling, open the door."

The tiny girl took the treacherous journey to the door slowly, almost able to hear the chime of the death bells in her head. One step, and then another, and then another. Before she knew it, she was directly in front of her bedroom door, her trembling hand hovering over the control pad.

The young child was greeted by a very annoyed teenager who looked absolutely livid to be woken at such an unsociable hour. His hair was an unruly mess and stuck up in all directions, his eyes were slightly red and baggy, and he was slumped slightly. The child sighed in exasperation. Of course, out of all the Jedi in the temple, she had to wake the one that looked he hadn't slept in weeks.

Just her luck.

"You're making a lot of noise and my room is directly below yours." The boy pointed out grumpily, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to tame it. "What are you even doing?"

The child bit her fingernails a little before quietly whispering. "I'm trying to find the monsters."

"What monsters?" The young boy asked in exasperation. "There's no such thing, just go back to bed, and stay there!"

The child heard the tone of exasperation in his voice and swelled up with indignation, grabbing his arm as he began to turn away. "I can hear them. They're under my bed."

The boy growled a little before pushing past the child, not waiting for an invitation in. He pushed the young girl to the right a little so he could pass her, stopping for a second when he felt the odd static shock he seemed to get from the girl – like the force was nudging him towards her.

The girl obviously felt the connection that had flared up between them through the force and shifted, but not uncomfortably. "What was that?"

"I dunno." He replied, eying the tiny child. He had his suspicions though, he'd been a Padawan for 4 years now and only once before had he felt that odd static shock that seemed to exist through the force; when he first met his Master: Obi-Wan Kenobi. It had happened when the man had put a hand on his shoulder on the ship that had taken him away from Tatooine. "What's your name?"

"''Soka. Who're you?" The girl nibbled on her finger again, oblivious to the boy's not-so-subtle observations of her. Did this mean she'd be important to him someday? Like Obi-Wan?

"Anakin Skywalker."

"Oh." She replied without missing a beat. She should've known that she would be the one to wake up the _most powerful Padawan ever_, or so the younglings thought.

"Look, 'Soka." The boy decided to press on, he would discuss it with Obi-Wan later. He dropped to his hands and knees and gestured for the girl to come over. "There's nothing here."

Ahsoka got on her hands and knees beside him. "But...what if they disappear when we look under here and come back when we aren't looking?"

Anakin decided not to argue with the girl and point out the idiocy of that theory. For some reason, he felt connected to this girl. For some reason, the idea of calling her an idiot – something he didn't mind labelling to other younglings – seemed unthinkable and callous. "Well, 'Soka that is a good question." _It wasn't_, he told himself in his head but didn't dare voice aloud. He still didn't understand why he didn't want to insult her. "So, you know what we have to do right?" He smiled conspiratorially.

Ahsoka shook her head and mouthed. 'No'

"You'll see."

After several minutes, Anakin had successfully solved the young girl's problem and now was smiling proudly at his handiwork. Ahsoka was stood with a befuddled look on her face that only disappeared after Anakin pointed at the non-existent space under her bed and conspiratorially whispered. "How are they gonna get under now?

Ahsoka 'oohed' aloud and smiled brightly. "My bed is on the floor."

Anakin smirked at the girl as she beamed at him, feeling something arise in him that he couldn't quite identify. Yes, he had a feeling he'd be seeing this little girl again.

"See you later, Snips." He didn't know why he said that. It had just slipped out. Yet, for some odd reason, a part of him knew exactly why he had said that. The young boy supposed that one day he would understand.


	2. Stay

**So, I moved out of my parent's house last September for Uni and my dad put this quote below on facebook and watching the episode last night reminded me of it for some reason.**

"_**To my daughter, If you need me, call me. I don't care if I'm sleeping, if I'm having my own problems or if I'm angry at you. If you need me and if you need to talk to me, I'll always be there for you. No matter how big or how small your problem is, I'll be there."**_

**This little shot takes place after the Ahsoka-fugitive arc to confront Anakin's newfound 'empty nest' syndrome, spoilers for 'The Wrong Jedi'. I decided to put this in the Always There fic but this isn't the last, there are so many little stories I want to tell all the way from pre-apprenticeship to post apprenticeship. None of these will be in order but I'll put a note at the beginning to let you know when it occurs.**

**I know that everyone and their mum's has done one of these reaction fics but I NEED CLOSURE...I'm still reeling from this shock departure! This season of telly has been rough for me: first the Ponds on Dr Who and now we lose Ahsoka?! Personally I think they're all trying to drive me crazy.**

**Summary: Anakin's reaction following Ahsoka's departure. He would never abandon her again.**

**Also half inspired by the one of my favourites songs.**

* * *

"_We say goodbye in the pouring rain,  
And I break down as you walk away.  
Stay  
Stay  
Cos all my life I felt this way,  
and I could never find the words to say:  
Stay  
Stay" – 'Stay' by 'Hurts'_

* * *

Anakin had to force back the tears as Ahsoka walked away, and he counted every step she took towards uncertainty...and away from him. His heart cried out for his young Padawan – _former_ Padawan – and begged her not to go. He wanted her to _stay_. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen, she wasn't supposed to walk away...why was she walking away? How could he just stand back and let her?

What was he without her?

He fought everyday for her sake. She was one of the reasons he got up in the morning, and perhaps the only reason he'd stayed with the order so long. He hadn't been lying when he told her that he knew of how it felt: to want to walk away. Maybe he could leave now. Ahsoka was gone; what was he staying for?

_Stay_

Who would look after her out there? Who'd watch over her and make sure she didn't do anything too crazy? Who'd save her when she did? Anakin could feel his legs yearning to run after her, to go and tell her that he would never abandon her again – that he'd go with her. She'd never be alone or afraid again. He'd keep her safe and happy and he'd never let anyone hurt her, and she'd be here...with him.

Skyguy and Snips – it'd always had a nice ring to it.

But he wouldn't leave...he couldn't do that – _this_ – to Obi-Wan. He couldn't walk away like Ahsoka could...but he wished he could. He really _really_ wished he could walk away.

_Stay_

He must have stood at the top of the stairs for hours, for the bright sunlight that'd been cruelly taunting him had faded into darkness. Ahsoka was long gone, walking into a world that she knew next to nothing about. She was a child that had been forced from her home by the very people who were supposed to protect her. She was a child that was all alone now, trying to find her way in a galaxy so much bigger than her and she was probably so scared and so confused...and probably falling apart as much as he was. This was _their_ fault. He spent so much time and energy protecting her from Dooku, Ventress, Grievous and all the others that he perceived as threats, it was only too late that he realised that the real threat to his Padawan had come from within. The people he needed to protect her from were the Jedi.

Anakin didn't know when or how he did it but at some point in his musing he had walked back to their quarters - no..._his_ now, _only_ his. He had half expecting her to be reclined on the long sofa, laid in some good awful position that would ruin her spine as well as his sofa. He could almost hear her cheerful greeting and teasing remarks, _almost_. He almost tossed a half-hearted warning about said spine/sofa damaging position but then he blinked, he blinked and he could no longer see her. He blinked and she was gone. Why had he blinked?

It seemed that he must have been blinking so much throughout the whole of Ahsoka's apprentice because it had gone so fast. He couldn't sworn that only a few months ago they had been on Christophsis – when she'd first presented herself to him – but in the back of his mind he realised that meeting had been years ago. How had it passed so quickly? Why did he blink so much? He couldn't really remember when his bright eyed, snippy, happy-go-lucky girl had turned into a war-hardened, closed-off and frankly mistrustful young woman. Where'd his girl gone? - The little sweet one that believed in everyone and everything and was never out of second chances. Where was she?

Where had things gone so wrong? How had he lost someone that meant so much to him? When had this darkness swept into their lives?

He didn't realise how bad this would hit him. The absence of his Pada-..._Ahsoka_ was everywhere. She'd left her datapad and homework from before their deployment to Cato Nemoidia, sprawled out over the coffee table, things that had been forgotten about in the chaos that had occurred over the past few days. There was an empty days-old canteen that had once held hot cocoa – her favourite drink – that she had forgotten to put in the washing up.

A tear broke through and he let it stream down his face, slow and tickling. Another tear fell, and then another and before he knew it, he was breaking down. When was the last time he had cried? He didn't even realise that he knew how to anymore.

He knew she wasn't doing this to hurt him. So why did it feel like he was drowning? – ten feet under and barely breaking the surface, the waves washing over his head and pushing him back under. Would he ever see her again?

Why couldn't she _stay_?

* * *

The days passed slowly and painfully, and before he knew it, it had been a month since his youngling had left. He hadn't even noticed. He didn't know where the days had gone; they had all melded together and turned into a pain-filled blur. He didn't think he'd even left his quarters in all that time.

The first night had been the roughest. He'd felt a flare of fear and sadness pass through his bond with his Padawan – something that both of them had forgotten about – and he'd immediately jumped up and ran into her room, his heart stopping when he saw she wasn't there, only to be brought back to life with a painful ache as he realised that she would never be there again.

He'd tried to talk to her through their bond but his only reply was silence before walls being slammed up and their bond being all but useless to him – her mind was completely blocked off. He'd felt a flash of regret before she'd cut him off but after that their bond fell completely silent...and he hadn't heard even a whisper from it since.

He went back to bed feeling completely and utterly broken, and more than a little useless. Where was she? Was she okay?

He knew he wasn't coping, not at _all_. It wasn't until a week into his 'Ahsoka-free' life that he realised he badly he was taking this; he'd laid down an extra place setting at the table, aside from his own, he'd done it completely automatically and when he noticed his error it had only brought all of his bottled emotions to the forefront of his mind and he'd angrily thrown the plate at the wall, instantly shattering it.

Why hadn't she stayed?

Anakin had been granted meditative leave; the councils way of apologizing for the catastrophe that had occurred - as if anything they could ever do would _ever_ make up for what they did to Ahsoka. In his mind, the council had as good as taken Ahsoka away from him...and they'd hurt her and put her through so much and then _dared_ to call it a 'trial' to her face, and now he might never even see his child again...because that's what she was now, she was _his_...she always would be – she'd wormed her way into his heart; between all the fighting and the running and the war and the pain he'd managed to grow to love yet another unfortunate soul.

Ahsoka had been given to him to protect, to care for, to love but he'd failed – oh so terribly – and now she was out there all alone, because of his failure...and she wasn't ready. He knew she wasn't ready to be alone. He didn't think Ahsoka would ever be ready to be alone, she _shouldn't_ be alone...that's not who she was. Ahsoka should never have to be alone...but in his carelessness he'd allowed the Council to push her away and now she was alone, which she should never be because she couldn't cope with being alone – her species couldn't cope with being alone, in general.

He was so worried about her.

She'd not contacted him at all since she'd left. No comm. call or message or anything, not to him or Padme or Lux or any of her friends. No-one had heard from her and he was just about ready to go tear the Galaxy apart looking for her. He'd never felt so helpless, not even when she'd been taken by Trandoshans or even when she was on the run. He literally had no idea where she was, no inclination as the whether or not she was safe, or even alive. Why hadn't she contacted anyone?

Where was she? Was she safe?

* * *

_Chirp chirp_

Anakin slammed his hand down on his alarm clock, managing to registered it's irritating chirp even through his sleepy haze. The young man turned over and buried further beneath his blankets, refusing to even play nice with the world today. Yes, today...today was not a good day, in fact he was already 110% done with today, and about 37% done with tomorrow. He'd not had a good day since Ahsoka left.

_Chirp chirp_

Anakin growled and sat up, looking at his alarm clock with a livid stare only to frown in confusion. His alarm clock wasn't set, it wasn't even on.

_Chirp chirp_

So what was that noise?

A flashing caught Anakin's eye and he noticed the holoprojector pod thrown carelessly to the floor in the corner of the room – the consequence of an argument he'd had with Obi-Wan about his current so called 'empty nest' syndrome, had the man said that in his physical form in front of him, Anakin wouldn't have been responsible for his actions.

"If this is karking Obi-Wan..." Anakin let the threat hang before stomping over to the device and angry answering, not even bothering to throw on a shirt.

"Skywalker." Anakin snapped.

"Hey Skyguy!" A small blue image blurred into existence and Anakin's heart stopped. It was exactly the person he'd spent the past month worrying about, pretty much the only person – besides Padme – he wanted anything to do with right now. He made eye contact with her and he had to blink several times to rid the excess moisture in his eyes. She was safe. She was okay. She was...dead!

"Where have you been?" Anakin scolded her. "We've all been so worried, Ahsoka! Force dammit! You don't get to scare me like that!"

Ahsoka bowed her head and looking genuinely regretful. "I'm sorry. I just...I kept putting it off. I didn't want to see you ashamed of me. I guess time just ran away."

Anakin walked over to his bed and sat down, looking at her gently and reminding her. "Ahsoka, you know that I have never been, or never will be, ashamed of you. I'm proud of you."

"Even now?" That question portrayed all of her insecurities to her former Master.

"Especially now." Anakin told her, smiling softly. "I may not like your decision but I'm proud that you were strong enough to put that aside and see it through. I wasn't...at first but...I understand."

"Thank you, Master." Ahsoka replied sincerely.

"I'm not your Master anymore - I'm just Anakin now - so it's time we saw each other as equals." Anakin reminded her. "Speaking of which, where are you now? How are you?"

Ahsoka looked behind her and smirked. "I was on Shilli." She waved at someone before turning back to her Master. "I have a brother. He's very kind and I'm stayed with him for a little while."

Anakin smiled for a second, happy that she had a chance to get to know her family now. He was glad she had a real chance at a normal, happy life. He then frowned, recalling her words. "Are you not staying on Shilli?"

"No, I've already left. I'm on Cantarra, the fifth moon of Danvar in the outer rim."

"Why? Don't you wanna stay with your family? Your brother?" Anakin truly couldn't understand her motives. What was going on in this girls head?

"And what, Skyguy? Settle down? Get married to some nice Togruta boy? Procreate?" Her mouth turned up in disgust at the last question. "I don't think I'm suited to normal life. Besides...why would I stay in one place? I can do so much now. I can be everything that being a Jedi prevented me from being. I can do everything that I've always wanted to do. I have the whole galaxy waiting for me right now and I want to see it...properly...not as a soldier."

Anakin smiled and chuckled lightly to himself, he was wrong to believe for a second that his Snips would be anything but the eager, wide-eyed child that he loved. Perhaps, maybe, she would be alright. In fact, he thought she'd be more than alright...she was going to be amazing and he had a very strong feeling that his little one's action weren't going to escape his, or _anyone's_, notice – she had never been one for sticking to the shadows.

Ahsoka's eager expression turned into a slightly sadder one. "And now Master, now you know that I'm good...you need to let me go."

"You know I can't do that, Snips." Anakin's expression contorted with pain. "I...just _can't_."

"You _can_." Ahsoka urged gently. "You have your path and I have mine but...I think they're gonna meet - I think they're gonna meet a lot. You _are_ going to see me again."

"You can promise that?" Suddenly it felt like the roles had been reversed, that he was the child and she the concerned guardian.

"Yeah." Ahsoka laughed. "Skyguy, I've hardly abandoned you. It's not like I've written you off, I'm just starting anew. I'm making my own life now, it's a normal thing. But I'll be back, not now but one day...I'll just fall out of the sky on your front door but until then...you're gonna have to learn to live without me."

"I will." Ahsoka could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

"No, don't just say that. You have to mean it. You can't just shut yourself off, okay? You're more than that, Anakin. You have so many people that rely on you and they need you." Ahsoka replied heatedly. "There are people all over the galaxy that need you right now and they can't sit around and wait for you to snap out of this."

"I know, I'll try...I promise." Anakin replied with a light chuckle.

Ahsoka turned around again for a second before shouting something to someone off-screen before turning back to him with a sad expression and Anakin could guess what she was about to say. "I have to go."

"I know." Anakin figured as much. "Snips..."

"I know...I'll be careful." Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "And you be careful...and you look after yourself."

"I'm more worried about you then me, Ahsoka." Anakin told her firmly.

"Don't be." Ahsoka told him gently, smiling brighter than he'd seen in a long time. "I'm gonna be okay. In fact, for the first time in a very long time, I'm gonna be amazing. Everything's kind of amazing right now."

The sound of an explosion in the background made Anakin jump and his brow furrowed. What in the force's name was that girl doing?

"Ahsoka-"

Anakin hadn't even gotten close to starting his lecture when Ahsoka interrupted him and said. "Don't worry Skyguy, that was nothing much...just a bit of a rebellion."

"A rebellion?" Anakin asked dangerously. If he had to come out to whatever dustball she was hiding on and rescue her, she would never be allowed out of his sight again.

"Yeah, a bit of a slave rebellion on Cantarra." Ahsoka smirked and levelled a cocky look at her Master. "I may not be a solider anymore but I'm always gonna be fighter. This whole moon is pretty much dedicated to slave encampments and...well...let's just say that by tomorrow, there may not be a single one left." Ahsoka turned around and spoke in an exasperated tone. "_Don't do that_. No, no! Sarty is not fireproof. Put that down! See what I mean, now go get an extinguisher and put that out. And somebody help Sarty." Ahsoka turned back to her Master and said in an apologetic tone. "I'm sorry, I really have to go."

Anakin wished she could stay but he couldn't take her away from a situation that needed her, especially since he wasn't there to watch her back – she needed her wits about her not an overly-emotional guardian hovering over her.

"Keep in touch?" It was meant to sound like an order but it came across as a plea to Anakin's exasperation.

"Absolutely." Ahsoka agreed.

"No." Anakin intoned gently. "I mean it. Call me; whenever you want, it could be the middle of the night or halfway through a mission or even if I'm angry. I always have time for you, Snips. I'm always going to be there. I promise you that you are never going to be alone again, I will never abandon you again, Ahsoka."

Ahsoka's reply caught in her throat for a few seconds before she nodded and replied in a watery tone. "That means more to me than you'll ever realise, Skyguy. I miss you."

"I miss you too." Anakin replied instantly.

"Bye bye Skyguy, I'll see you soon." Ahsoka bowed slightly out of respect.

"I hope so Snips, I really do."

Ahsoka smiled before cancelling the connection., leaving her mentor alone once again to go rescue whatever civilisation needed her right now. Anakin didn't know how he could've expected any less from her.

Anakin felt his heart swell with pride and a beaming smile broke out on his face. Yes, this child was going to be fine...and maybe, just maybe, she'd find her way home someday...once she'd found whatever she was looking for.

She had a bit of searching to do; for now she had her own path to follow, and he knew she was facing some major questions about herself, about the Jedi...about everything and she would no doubt go looking for answers. He could tell that right now she was looking for somewhere to fit in – somewhere we she belonged - and he hoped she found everything she was looking and he hoped that once she had then she'd come back to him.

He'd forever hold onto that hope.

He still wished that she'd stayed.


	3. Bright Eyes

**AN: Right guys, so this is going to be a collection of one-shots that span various points throughout Anakin and Ahsoka's lives. Most will have both characters in but some may just reference one or the other. There's going to be pre-clone wars to post-clone wars shots and I will put the approximate year/time that each shot is set in.**

**Onto the second shot, this is set on Coruscant just after the Citadel Mission, on their return to Coruscant. This is a sort of post mission trauma/Anakin-Ahsoka bonding thing. I don't really know what it is to be honest; all I know is that it's been in my head since this episode aired like two years ago.**

**Summary: Ahsoka and Anakin **

Bright Eyes

If you looked very very closely through a pair of binoculars, one might be able to see a speck; a speck that was dotted right on top of one of the tallest towers of the Jedi temple. If you could manage to zoom in even closer, you could see that that speck was in fact a person.

The person sat so dangerously on top of this tower seemed not to realise how risky her behaviour was. She didn't seem to care that she was over 1 kilometre from the ground. It didn't faze her in the slightest. This was _her_ spot.

This seemed to be the only place in the – _on_ the – entire temple that she could find peace with no worries of being disturbed or bothered. This was her spot. She had started climbing up here when she was just a youngling – barely 9 years old – and no-one had noticed or caught her, so she started doing it more regularly. At night, if she was particularly sleepless or agitated, she would come up here and just...be.

This place had an effect on her that she could liken to the effect that the Room of a Thousand Fountains had on many of her fellow Jedi. Being up here, 1 kilometre above Coruscant made her feel moderately free.

Up here, she had no expectations or rules or regulations. Up here she wasn't a Jedi. Up here she was just Ahsoka...and that was something she craved so greatly.

Up here she was free.

She could sit up here for hours and just think. She could forget her duties and responsibilities and pretend like they were someone else's problem; she was Ahsoka when she was up here, not Commander Tano. Ahsoka didn't have these problems. Ahsoka was free. She was free to take her mask off and be herself for a little bit. She needed to be herself for a while because the war and the fighting and the sheer _heartbreak_ sometimes made her forget who she was.

She was on top of the world here; well, perhaps only in the literal sense. In a metaphorical sense, she was ten feet under and drowning.

She had been thinking over the events of the past few days.

They had just gotten back from the Citadel – the most perilous mission she had been on – and ever since they had got back she just couldn't stop doubting herself. She knew that the mission could've very easily failed quite early on if it were not for her but...she was still thinking over whether or not disobeying her Master had been a good idea; sure, it had all worked out but...maybe...if she hadn't of been there, Master Piell would've paired off with someone else. If Master Piell had of paired off with someone else...maybe he wouldn't have died.

Ahsoka brought her knees up to her chest, wrapping her scrawny arms around them. This war wasn't nice, to any of them, she had lost so much weight that it was a wonder she was able to walk so steadily, her bright orange skin had gone dull from the lack of nutrients and her lekku had followed that example, the blue stripes in it had faded so much that they almost blended in with the white. She rarely ate much more than rations and even then she rarely finished them, even when people around her were urging her to, specifically her Master; who had, on more than one occasion, threatened to 'shove it down her throat' if she didn't eat willingly.

Ahsoka looked up to the few twinkling stars that could be seen. The ambient light from all the lights and the neon flashing signs all around the planet-wide city that was Coruscant made it pretty much impossible to see all but the brightest stars. She wished she were on Naboo or Shilli or even Tatooine; just somewhere that wasn't so crowded and...unnatural, just so she'd be able to look into the night sky and see the beautiful twinkling stars that she adored. She wanted to be able to feel nature and breath with it and then maybe she wouldn't be so confused. Perhaps she would've been able to find the answers she sought.

Ahsoka loved Coruscant because it was her home; it was the home of the Jedi. She'd grown up on Coruscant and a good proportion of her memories were lived on this planet. But by no means did she actually _like_ the planet; it was far too artificial and loud for a Togruta – a species known for their love of simplicity. She liked the rolling hills and rippling lakes of the Lake Country on Naboo. She loved the gentle white snow and cool whispering air of the Alderaani mountain. And she really really loved the endless plains and red-and-white Turu-grass which layered the scrublands of Shilli as far as the eye could see. She liked nature.

Nature was soothing and gentle; it never had harsh words or hurtful remarks. It didn't pass judgement or look down upon you, it was just...there and it was one of the most comforting things in Ahsoka's life. It would never turn away from her.

She _needed_ nature right now.

Ahsoka let her legs dangle over the perilous edge, swinging them absent-mindedly as she stared into the darkness. Her conscience was heavy. She let out a short, sharp sigh; when had life become so difficult? When had everything become so...complicated?

She had turned her comm link off just to breathe because she just needed a little time since things could get a little bit too much when she was back on Coruscant and the world could feel like it was spinning too fast. Sometimes you could almost feel how you were just clinging onto the surface as the planet spun and was flung around the sun and it made you feel so tiny and insignificant and it was exhausting. She guessed this is what growing up feels like. This is what it's like to be an overworked, weary, and _exhausted_ adult. Yes, this is growing up.

She wasn't a child anymore.

How long had she been so...empty? She was getting so tired and overwhelmed by the endless war and the countless deaths and how _nothing_ ever seemed right. She was tired of being conflicted and afraid and...a warrior. She supposed she should be used to this; the war was her purpose...but it shouldn't be.

She barely even recognised what she was fighting for. What Republic? The Republic seemed to be cracking before their very eyes.

"You're not planning to jump, are you?" Came a wry voice from behind her that Ahsoka could identify anywhere.

Ahsoka didn't turn around as she answered in the same tone. "Don't know yet. 50/50 chance, I'd say. It would be rather inconsiderate of me though; someone's gotta clean me up if I go splat."

"Urgghh..." Ahsoka could imagine Anakin pulling a ridiculous face at her remark. "You're bad enough to look at when you aren't splattered, I don't envy that job."

"Hey." Ahsoka didn't put half as much heat or indignation into that as she could – should – have.

Anakin frowned at that; the Snips he knew wouldn't put up a bit more of a fight. The way she'd so lazily and distractedly combated his insult with a 'hey' threw him a little; he didn't understand, was she upset?

"Snips, what's wrong?" Anakin slowed lowered himself so he was sat on the perilous ledge next to his Padawan, trying not to think of the 1 kilometre drop that smirked up at him.

"I'm just a little tired, Master." Ahsoka half-smiled at him. "That's all."

"If you're tired, then why are you up here in the middle of the night instead of in your bed asleep." Anakin poked the biggest hole in her lie through, looking at her with raised eyebrows and a knowing smile.

"I-I..." Ahsoka shook her head a little to clear it and snapped at her Master a little. "Why do you always do this? Why don't you trust me?" She folded her arms over her chest and huffed, glaring into the dark canvas of the sky in pure irritation. She knew how it was; she trusted her Master above everyone else but he had no trust whatsoever for her.

"Snips-"

"No, it's fine..." Ahsoka cut through him in an irritated tone and held her hand up in a 'whatever' sort of way; something so very 'teenaged' of her that Anakin couldn't help but smile. "...I trust you 100% but I can clearly see that trust is _not_ reciprocated."

Anakin let out a sigh; this again. He didn't understand how she couldn't see that she was one of his most trusted friends. He supposed that sometime, it could be argued that he was a little overzealous and slightly overprotective of her but...how did that translate to a lack of trust?

"It's not that I don't trust you. Because I do...more than you know." Anakin said earnestly, the conviction of his words carrying strongly in his voice. "I just..." Anakin climbed off of the ledge back to the safety of the rooftop and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Master?" Ahsoka prompted curiously, spinning around slightly to face him.

"You don't need me anymore...not like you used to, at least." Anakin mumbled under his breath, feeling uncomfortable admitting his weakness. "And I'm...I'm still learning how to deal with that."

Ahsoka turned back to face the never-ending mass of buildings and skyscrapers. Is that what he thought? She let out a quiet half-laugh, half-scoff to herself. She needed him much more than she'd ever be comfortable admitting - maybe more now than she had at 14 when she first became his Padawan – because her whole world had changed so much that she didn't even recognise it anymore and she didn't know where to turn.

Even the Jedi had twisted and warped into something that she didn't know anymore. What had happened to peace-keeping? They weren't warriors so when did they start pretending to be them?

She was starting to lose faith, in everything. She didn't know how much longer she could do this – pretend to be alright – but she couldn't let them down. She couldn't let them see her break.

Anakin looked over to his Padawan, seeing her sad blue eyes and hunched shoulders. He'd never admit it to her – for it would arm her with a formidable weapon – but he was a complete sucker for her puppy-dog eyes. Whenever she turned her big blue orbs on him, he felt like he had to do absolutely anything to keep them smiling and twinkling.

Was this how his Master had felt whenever he had pulled that trick on him?

Thankfully, Ahsoka didn't seem to yet realise the potential her sad little expression could pull off because she hadn't made a habit of utilising it. Anakin smiled sadly; when she'd first come to him all those years ago on Christophsis, her bright eyes had stood out to him.

He couldn't remember when the fire had burnt out. When had she stopped being so bright eyed? Had it been recent? All of a sudden? Or had it slowly been happening since she came under his tutelage?

Anakin supposed it must be the latter, he wished he'd paid more attention to her in the past so that he'd know for sure.

Anakin cleared his throat and kept his tone curious and casual. "So...wanna tell me what we're doing up here?"

Ahsoka visibly flinched, her eyes downcast and almost guilty, but she could sense he wasn't leaving until he got some answers and she sure as hell wasn't going to be chased from _her spot_ so she decided to placate him. "Master, I'm...conflicted." She said hesitantly. "Master Piell died, and I was supposed to save him but...I...I _failed_."

Anakin nodded his head slightly to himself. Of course, what else could it be; she was _his_ Padawan after all, and the fear of failure was one of his greatest. It was no wonder she'd obviously picked up and inherited that fear. "You didn't fail him, Ahsoka."

Ahsoka turned around and looked at him with complete disbelief, an expression of 'you're-kidding-right?' painted across her face. "He died." She reiterated, as if he hadn't heard her. "Remember?"

Anakin sighed before walking back over to the ledge and sitting next to his Padawan so their shoulders were practically touching.

"Yeah, I know but...that doesn't mean that you failed him. I'm not gonna give you the 'you tried your best and because of that you honoured him' speech because I think it's insulting and pointless. What I am gonna say is that we saved him from being tortured to death, we saved him from the Citadel and _slaughtered_ in the most terrible and inhumane way. And yeah, he _did_ die but...he got to keep his dignity, he got a warrior's ending and he wasn't alone. And for that reason, Ahsoka, I think that you didn't fail him." Anakin put a hand on her shoulder gently and said in a soft tone, softer than he'd ever used with her before "You _saved_ him."

Ahsoka looked at him with uncertainty held in those big blue eyes. "I did?" Her tone could be described as nothing more than pure scepticism.

Anakin chuckled lightly and nodded. "Yeah, you did. To say you weren't even supposed to be on that mission, you became indispensible." At Ahsoka's shocked look, Anakin's eyebrows rose and he said in a sterner tone. "What? Did you think I didn't know, Snips?"

Ahsoka flinched slightly before deciding to play dumb a little bit. "Master?" Her tone was a little too innocent to be believable.

"Snips, I know that Master Plo covered for you." Anakin told her, cutting off any chances she might have had for deceit or playing innocent. "Come on, Snips...what do you take me for?"

Ahsoka bowed her head, guilty but not at all regretful of her actions; if she were to repeat the mission, she would've done exactly the same. "Are you mad?"

Anakin took a deep breath and thought about her question honestly. Was he mad? His brow crinkled as he mulled over that. Well...he could name what he was: disappointed, frustrated, scared, worried, weary but...mad? No, he didn't think he was mad. He should be mad, he had been when he had first walked out of carbonite and seen her and, were it a year or two earlier, he would've still been fuming. But right now...he was too tired and weary and..._depleted_ to be angry with her. He didn't want to have to contend with the fight that would bring and that was worrying to him because that was not him, at all. He'd never shied away from conflict; once upon a time he'd craved it, and would jump in headfirst, lightsaber ablaze and a...hunger for the fight.

He supposed that he'd grown up somewhere between the start of the Clone Wars – all those years ago on Geonosis – and now. He supposed this was growing up. He was 22 now and in the 3 years that had passed since the war had begun he'd gone from a brash, undisciplined and, frankly, angry Padawan and had grown into a more reserved, calmer, more reliable Knight.

He didn't know when it had happened or why or how, but somewhere along the line he'd grown up and become an adult; a _mature_ adult. He briefly wondered if there was any way he could slow down because everything was whizzing past him at the speed of light and he was stood standing still, star struck by all the passing blurs.

Ahsoka had become a blur. When had she become so responsible? When had she decided she was ready to go out on her own? When had she started wanting to make her own decisions?

Yes, she was one on his biggest blurs. He wished she'd slow down and just enjoy what she had now. She shouldn't be so eager to grow up, she was 16 years old – she should hold on to that for as long as she can because after 16 everything hits fast forwards and it only gets faster. She should hold onto what's left of her innocence – tattered and dying as it may be, because one day she would wake up and realise it was gone completely and when that day comes, she can't ever go back.

She can't get any of it back.

None of them can.

Anakin chuckled wryly, drawing Ahsoka's attention to him. He was beginning to see now. He was beginning to see why he was so strict and...protective when it came to Ahsoka; he didn't want her to make the same mistakes he did. He wanted her to be able to get to where he was and look back at a childhood with no regrets. He didn't want her to experience shame or sadness in her life, he wanted to shield her from the horrors of the world as much as he possibly could and keep her young, innocent and...happy for as long as he possibly could. Was that wrong of him?

"Master..." Ahsoka's said softly in an understanding tone. "...the only way I'm ever going to have regrets is if I go against what my heart tells me to do."

"Ahsoka." Anakin lightly scolded her. "It's rude to peep in on people's minds." He really needed to keep more of a conscious mental shield up; her proclivity in the mind arts was getting a little bit too good. He didn't need her routing around in there.

"Master." Ahsoka replied in the same tone. "It's rude to stare." Anakin was taken-aback, he hadn't realised he had been staring. Ahsoka let out a huff of impatience, very unbecoming of a Jedi, he wanted to tell her. "So...are you? Are you mad?"

Anakin punched her arm lightly before looking out at the horizon. "I can never stay mad at you."

Ahsoka scoffed. "Yes, you can." She recalled all the times he waited until after a mission or later on to give her the lecture of her life.

Anakin laughed without humour. "No, what you're seeing there is worry combined with annoyance combined with a bit of impatience with a dash of fear...very easy to mistake for anger."

"Right..." Ahsoka said, still not believing him. "And I thought peeping in people's minds is rude?"

"You're my Padawan; it's my job to pry." Anakin quipped with an air of big-headedness.

"Well then, consider your employment terminated." Ahsoka added in the same cocky tone

Anakin put on a wounded look before announcing. "You can try. You're stuck with me, Snips." He said with an impish grin that echoed the one Ahsoka had given him when they'd first met.

Ahsoka shook her head out of exasperation. "Whatever is wrong with you is no little thing."

Anakin laughed at that to Ahsoka's confusion; it wasn't _that_ funny. Anakin took a few seconds to compose himself before settling down into a comfortable silence with his Padawan, with them both looking out into the stained purple sky as dawn began to break.

"Master...do you think this war will ever end?" Ahsoka asked quietly, so quietly that Anakin barely heard her.

Anakin looked at her and answered in a sure tone. "I do."

Ahsoka looked to him. "How are you so sure?"

"I don't know. Faith? Hope? Something along those lines. It doesn't really matter anyway because I like right now to be absolutely honest." Anakin nodded a little to show his surety. Yes, right now was all he needed...he had everything right now: a loving wife, a neurotic former Master, and a loyal Padawan. Right now, for him, was pretty perfect.

Ahsoka smiled brightly for the first time in what felt like months, a smile so wide she thought she would crack her lips. It felt good to smile; she couldn't remember the last time she'd had reason to smile so big. She couldn't remember feeling quite so light and happy, not since becoming a Padawan, at least.

For the first time in forever, she felt like everything would be okay.

Anakin turned his attention back to the sunrise, a lingering smile on his face. Yes, there was his Bright-Eyes, she was still in there somewhere. Anakin's smile widened when he thought about how he was about to burst her bubble. "You're still busted for sneaking onto the mission, Snips. You and your quarters are going to be well acquainted for quite a while."

Ahsoka 's groan of pure torture made him shake his head with a smile still plastered on his face. She turned to him with a mildly outraged look and he shrugged his shoulders and quipped. "This is one job you can't fire me from. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried, Snips. You're in this for life."

Ahsoka put on a look of horror and said in an annoyed tone. "_Life_?"

"Life." Anakin reiterated.

Ahsoka's face still held pure exasperation which quickly melted away into indifference and she shrugged and said. "Could be worse."

"Yeah, I could be Obi-Wan." Anakin added in a joking way but Ahsoka knew it to be true. She didn't think Obi-Wan would have put up with her!

"Yeah..." Ahsoka chuckled nervously, just the idea of Obi-Wan being her Master made chills run down her spine. Obi-Wan would've put up with none of her sass. "...so I'm glad you're my Master, Skyguy."

"Only one that would have you." Anakin mumbled under his breath.

Ahsoka merely stuck her tongue out in reply.

Anakin was tempted to stick his tongue out right back at her but he reminded himself that he wasn't a child anymore and that sort of behaviour was unbecoming of a Jedi. That reasoning didn't stop him from pulling a sneering face at her in retaliation, though.

Silence fell for a few seconds before Anakin broke it with a confirmation of what he'd earlier told his Padawan. "I do trust you, Snips."

"I know." Ahsoka replied, half-smiling at him. "And I trust you."

"That's good." Anakin said absently as he took in a deep breath before saying. "Then maybe you could put that into practice more...your trust, I mean. I'm gonna try and be more reasonable but I need you to try and see things from my point of view and accept that sometimes I do know best. I know how capable you are and I do take that into consideration when I weigh up the risks but sometimes, in my opinion, it's not worth the risk. Okay? So I need to be able to trust that you'll defer to my experience."

Ahsoka looked like she wanted to argue but instead she decided to take the more mature route and bit back her heated retort. "I can try, Master but...you need to try and see things from my point of view too!"

"I know..." Anakin looked at her with a weary expression before turning away and more quietly saying. "_I know. _And I promise you that I will try my best, Ahsoka, but there are going to be times in the future when I decide you can't come along and the last thing I need is to worrying over whether or not you're going to spring out from hiding in the ventilation shafts or something."

"Well..." Ahsoka looked thoughtful for a second before putting her solution on the table. "How about when there's a mission with considerable risk we sit down and talk things out. You can provide your reasons for not wanting me to come and I can provide my reasons for why it won't be too risky. Surely we can be mature about it and come to some sort of solution or, if necessary, a _compromise_."

Anakin looked at his Padawan in slight shock and was reminded of how much she'd matured. "I like the sound of that but we have to be prepared to listen."

"Master..." Ahsoka was trying not to sound too condescending but it was so hard. "...I don't think I'm the one that has a problem with the whole listening thing."

Anakin glared at her but the heat in it was only half-hearted because she had a very valid point; he was always the one to go stomp off when they were arguing over a mission. "Yeah and we've both got to _trust_ each other and maybe be prepared to concede defeat. No arguing for arguments sake or for the sake of pride or winning because that's not what it's about, that's not what our relationship is about, Snips. We work on trust."

"I know." It was Ahsoka's turn to become weary. "And, like I said, I trust you. Master, I trust you more than I trust anyone. Trust isn't an issue."

"I think it is..." Anakin replied tilting his head to the side knowingly. "...or else we wouldn't be having this discussion. I think that maybe you don't trust me to make the right decisions."

"Master-" Ahsoka was about to protest with all of her so called 'Snippyness'.

"Think about it, Ahsoka. Just think." Anakin prompted her. "Think over it because I think I'm right."

Ahsoka shook her head because crossing her arms and angling her head down, trying to think over what he'd said. She frowned before saying. "I disagree. I think it's more that...I worry about you a lot and I worry that no-one will be there to watch your back. I don't want to be stuck at the temple waiting for them to bring you home in a box."

"Hey..." So that's what this was about; his Padawan feared losing people, just as he did. "...that's never gonna happen, Snips. "

Ahsoka put a hand up to halt him and said in an annoyed tone. "Don't...don't lie to me, Master. The galaxy likes to think that you're invincible but I know better. One day, soon maybe, you'll realise that too and...I just hope that it doesn't cost you your life. I don't wanna be alone."

"Snips..." Anakin tilted her head up, forcing her to look at him. "No matter what happens: with the war, with the Jedi, with anything; you're never gonna be alone. Even if something were to happen to me, I'd always be with you."

Ahsoka scoffed and tried to turn her head away but Anakin kept her chin in a vice-grip which was firm enough to keep her looking at him but not so strong that it hurt her.

"If there's one thing I want you to trust, if there's only one thing I want you to know...it's this: I'm always going to be with you – _always_. It doesn't matter if I'm a million light years away or become one with the force, I'll always be watching over you. I'll be the little annoying voice in your ear telling you to not do that."

"I-" Ahsoka tried to speak but Anakin cut through what he was sure would've been a statement filled with doubt and all the worries she'd been keeping hidden from him.

"Ahsoka, you need to start trusting me."

Ahsoka met his eyes for the first time and nodded. "I already do."

"Then we shouldn't have anything to worry about then, should we?"

Ahsoka smirked and shook her head a little. "No, I guess not. I suppose I'm going to have to loosen the reins a little."

Anakin chuckled and climbed up from the ledge of terror, holding out a hand to held Ahsoka up which she happily accepted and allowed him to hoist her up. _Yes_, Ahsoka decided, _right now was pretty perfect_ – even though she was in trouble, because Skyguy was there and he loved her and he was the person she trusted most. He was _Skyguy_ and she was Snips, and for a second...she was also Bright Eyes too.


	4. His Weakness

**AN: I wrote this years ago and just found it on a memory stick and thought it'd make a good addition to this series.**

**It's set about 6 years post-ROTS and follows Vader's musings on Ahsoka.**

**I know a lot of people will disagree with how I've written Vader in this but I do not believe he is without remorse. I believe he is completely swamped and tortured with the guilt of his actions.**

They have this little game they play. He pretends to try his damndest to look for her – making it look like he's scouring the galaxy in vengeful fury – and she keeps running so that he'd never actually find her, dancing across the stars as he pursues her half-heartedly. Like a game of 'tag' between a parent and child, the parent could so easily win but, no matter how pathetic the child is at the game, they always make sure that the child wins; yes, one could liken the pairs' relationship to that.

If he ever did find her he would be forced to fight her and, most likely, kill her, especially if they had an audience. The Emperor wouldn't tolerate any soft spots he had for the girl. The old man already despised the fact that his right hand man hadn't dealt with the irritating girl yet; the girl who just didn't know when she should curl up and die; the girl who had lived much longer than she should have.

But why?

He was Darth Vader; the most feared man in the galaxy. He had brought countless tragedies and genocides down upon the galaxy – he had ruthlessly slaughtered men, women and children without so much as a second thought or backwards glance. He had destroyed the Jedi order and murdered thousands in cold blood. She should be just another Jedi scum.

Murder and pain were what he lived for, and dealing it out so easily made him feel like God.

But she was different.

…She was the only person from his past that hadn't betrayed him.

The little part, deep deep within him, that was still Anakin Skywalker clung to her like a lifeline; couldn't let go of his silly attachment to the girl. She reminded him of a time before he was this, she reminded him of a time before the Empire and before all the darkness. And it hurt…but it was a hurt he welcomed. It reminded him that he was still human – even he forgot sometimes.

The girl stirred something deep inside him, a part of him that he thought died alongside Anakin Skywalker. She could never turn him back – of course – he was much too far gone for that, he had been too much; done too much. The darkness was what he breathed now. But the girl did manage to bring out a soft spot in him; he supposed it was somewhat plausible. After all, he was the one that had raised this girl throughout her teens; a challenging achievement worthy of recognition, he thought.

He guessed that there were some bonds that time couldn't wither.

So, he would let her run, constantly let her slip through his fingers – they both knew he wasn't even trying to catch her – but she kept up the charade and never stayed in one place for too long. And he would keep up this little dance for as long as he possibly could, he'd delayed what he knew would one confront them: the day when she slipped and he actually did catch her.

He'd do what he had to. He would kill her. It was his job – she may have once meant the world to him but that didn't mean he wouldn't do exactly what he should – she was a Jedi and he was a Sith. He knew that he wouldn't hesitate to eradicate yet another Jedi from the galaxy – despite who they were.

But for now, he would continue to let her run.

He owed her that much. After all, he was the one who had upturned her life – destroyed what was left of her childhood – and had forced her into hiding, she was no longer a Jedi but that did not matter. A former Jedi was just as bad as a Jedi in the Sith's eyes. He'd forced her to run and hide and live every single second of her life in terror, he did that. Sure, Ahsoka had grown up in a war and was used to her life being at risk constantly, but she had never had to do it alone.

If Anakin had done one thing – taught Ahsoka only one important lesson – it had been that she would never be alone; she always had him. Times had changed, he had changed and Ahsoka had only now learnt how empty a promise that was course - sure she had eventually flown the nest and decided to opt of the Jedi life and forge her own path but he'd still been there for her...and she knew that - but that was beside the point: Ahsoka Tano had been completely unprepared for this life he had forced her into, she wasn't ready to be alone – she was too young.

Everything he'd tried to protect her from – keep her in the dark from – was leering at her in the face and she hadn't known how to handle it. The first few years were the most difficult; she slipped up so much. He'd find a lead on her every fortnight.

He so deeply regretted his actions and his part in the rise of the Empire – he destroyed his life and his beloved wife and child. Everything had ever wanted.

Perhaps, for once, he could do right by her. He had failed so terribly as her Master. He hadn't protected her, or taught her. Not properly at least. No, Ahsoka Tano had suffered much more than anyone should have to and that had been his fault...he'd failed to protect her from the war, from the pain and from the Jedi...he'd let them hurt her and he'd never forever himself for that. Now was his chance to do what he should've all those years ago. Maybe it was time to make up for his past failures.

Maybe now he could make up for her false imprisonment.

So he would do as much as he could to avoid Ahsoka Tano. He didn't particularly want to kill her – there was too much history between them for it not to cause some conflict within him - and he certainly didn't want the Emperor to get his greasy hands on her. She was so much like him, there was a chance he could turn her – and he wouldn't wish this life of hatred on anyone, especially not his Snips.

"Lord Vader." Ozzel approached him stiffly, saluting as obliged before continuing. "My Lord, we have tracked the Jedi to Dantooine, we are preparing to enter hyperspace, shall we proceed?"

"Yes, Admiral. I want the Jedi gone." Did he? Vader didn't think he could answer that question, not honestly, at least. Did he want this particular little Jedi gone? She wouldn't be of any harm, she was just a girl – just shy of 22 years old. She was so young. Could it do harm to leave her be? Let her live a little longer?

Sometimes, he would think he was about to catch her. He would prepare himself for their confrontation; he would prepare himself to sever the last link to his old life, and a whole sea of unsith-like emotions would assault him. He would push them down; squash them like pests but…they keep popping up and they too reminded him of that question – the one question that had plagued him since Operation Knightfall: could he kill her? If he did catch her, would he actually be able to end her life? Would he be able to look her in the eye – his little Snips – and kill her stone dead?

He hoped he would never have to find out. He hoped she kept running and never stopped. And he hoped beyond a doubt that they hadn't caught her quite as yet…because…she was still Ahsoka and, somewhere very deep down, there was still some of Anakin in him. And…she was still his girl, just a little less fond of him.

He'd never be able to erase the memories – ignore them? Maybe. But, erase? No, never. He could still hear her laugh ringing in his ears, the taunts that were flung so easily to him, '_Come on, Skyguy.'_

No, he would never be free of the memories.

Maybe that was why he struggled with the idea of killing her: he still cared for her too much, he still saw her as the little girl that looked to him for protection; he didn't know. He just knew that, whenever Ahsoka cropped up, she emotionally compromised him.

So, Vader did what he did best regarding this irritating girl – the child he wanted to kill just because she created such a conflict within him – he let her win this round. Lowering his mental shields ever so slightly, just so his presence was able to slither down the old and neglected bond they had once shared, he allowed Ahsoka Tano to have a small insight into his mind; into his destination, so that she wouldn't be there when he arrived.

It disgusted him; the things he would do for this girl. But, at the same time, it intrigued him, and made him question everything he knew. Maybe he wasn't so firmly rooted in the dark, well...maybe not when it came to her.

Vader could've sworn he felt a slight wave of acknowledgement pass back through that old bond. It wasn't a grateful gesture, or one that conveyed that he'd done her a favour; it wasn't a thank you or a cocky reply. No, it was just an acknowledgement of what he had done – a mental nod of the head, so to speak - but for some reason that dragged up old painful memories of his young apprentice.

He abruptly pushed the girl's consciousness far away from his mind and slammed the connection shut, for fear it would all come crashing down.

Vader clasped his hands behind his back and stared out the viewport into the vast blackness of space. He allowed himself a second to remember, to remember _everything _and he almost reached out to his apprentice again, he could feel the small amounts of Anakin Skywalker yearning to reach out to bring her back under his wing...back to safety. But he quelled that urge.

Bringing her here would be handing her a death sentence. The Emperor _would_ find out, and he would personally come to oversee her execution so there would be no chance of escape..not this time. And he was much too weak to challenge the Emperor, maybe in a former life but not now...not since Mustafar.

Vader instantly squash down all those conflicting emotions and with a giant swopp of his black cloak he stormed off of the bridge, heading for his own quarters where he would be able to immerse in the force. He needed...well, he wasn't sure what he needed but he _wanted_ to cast that former Jedi child far from the recesses of his mind, he wanted things to become clear-cut and simple regarding her.

Because this girl had far too strong a hold over him.

But he was too weak to do anything about it. And, he thought, for the first time in his life, this was one weakness that didn't bother him so much - Ahsoka Tano; his weakness.

Well, she'd always been someone who he would bend the rules for.


	5. I Am Invincible

**Right well this one is set very early in Ahsoka's apprenticeship, you can probably tell from the mood of this story. I tried to tell it in a very nonchalant way and I wanted Ahsoka to still have that 'I am invincible' attitude that she seemed to have in the Clone Wars film.**

**I actually had a lot of fun with this, it was originally designed to be part of a five chapter fic titled 'The Five Time Ahsoka Tano Saved Her Master...And The One Time She Didn't' but I lost inspiration for it but wanted this to materialise somewhere because I liked writing this, it's not often that I get to write Ahsoka so carefree and blissfully ignorant to the huge dangers that surround her.**

* * *

Once again, they had found themselves deployed to the mineral-rich planet of endless crystalline structures. Big, blue and beautiful; _as high as the sky_, Ahsoka had once proclaimed...months ago. It was hard to believe that it had been a whole 3 months since she was last here; it was like it was only yesterday.

It was exactly as she remembered it. Of course, there were a few more toppled and decimated towers layering the ground than the last time, but the pure nostalgia still hit her. Only seconds later did the sadness.

This planet had once been so beautiful. It had been so precious, especially to her. This planet was the place she'd met her Master, it was the place she'd become his Padawan. It held a special place in her heart.

She gingerly clambered over a fallen structure that had shattered and splintered in a various places; pointy shards of death glistening so perfectly in the sun. It was as if they beckoned her to come closer, Ahsoka smirked and scoffed a little – perhaps she would've accepted the offer if she was as gullible as Skyguy.

"I heard that." Her Master grumbled behind her good-naturedly. He was picking up the rear of the group, leading her take the lead...for once. It wouldn't last long; Ahsoka was counting down the seconds until he felt like intervening. He'd barge up to her and proclaim_ 'it's about getting the job done right.'_

Which he, obviously, didn't trust her to do. Honestly, she'd been his Padawan for 3 whole months, surely that was more than enough time to become more than proficient at leading a squad - or so she thought.

He was in a surprisingly good mood, perhaps it was because they had just been contacted by the council. Once they finished here, they were being put on a two week meditative retreat. She just couldn't quite proclaim the _joy_ in her heart at the mere thought of a lovely routine being put into place for her, with her days being wasted in classes, studying..._like a real live girl_. Ahsoka rolled her eyes, if she had it her way, she wouldn't step within a 100 metres radius of any of those classes, she learnt way more in the field, as she so frequently reminded her Master.

Ahsoka stopped suddenly, holding her hand up in the air to signal to the group. She poked her head around the corner, being completely aware of the voices she could hear close by.

Two droids, no doubt sentinels on patrol, chattering away in a manner which informed Ahsoka that they had no clue they were there.

They were close. They must be. There was no need for a patrol unless they were close to the facility described to them by Master Kenobi – who was late, as per usual.

"Obi-Wan should be here by now." Ahsoka very nearly jumped at the voice in her ear. Wasn't he supposed to be picking up the rear? She knew it wouldn't last.

"Well, he's not." Ahsoka replied snappily, stress taking over. What if Obi-Wan wasn't coming? What if something had happened? Her heart clenched at the thought. They hadn't heard from him in days. They had to presume he'd lost contact but would still be able to make the mission but...where was he? They couldn't afford to delay, the patrol should be switching any moment now – they only had a small window of opportunity and another wouldn't arise until morn.

She could practically hear the gears in her Master's head turning as he thought of what to do. Sometimes, only on very very rare occasions, she was glad her Master took control.

"We're going to have to assume Obi-Wan's not coming." His tone was suspiciously uneven and, had Ahsoka not been able to sense his worry, she would've demanded to know where the real Anakin Skywalker was.

But...shouldn't they at least try and contact Obi-Wan? What if he needed help? What if he had been hurt? How would they pull this off without him? She'd end up getting everyone killed. "But Master-"

Anakin put a hand on her shoulder for a few seconds. "He'll be okay." He could sense where her fears lay. "We all will be. We can pull this off. Just...stay close to me."

Ahsoka nodded, resisting the urge to bite her lip. This was the biggest mission she'd been on, even bigger than that assault on the monastery on Teth. This base was _huge_ and armed to the teeth. How was she supposed to protect everyone if she could barely protect herself?

"Hey," Anakin's soft reprimand drew her away from her thoughts. "You'll do your best, and that's all anyone's ever gonna ask for, little one. No-one will condemn you. You can't save everyone." He smiled wistfully, though his eyes brewed from a tempest of anger, fear and...anguish, and Ahsoka was about to poke her nose in but Anakin quickly stood to his full height and began relaying the change of events to the men.

* * *

Ahsoka and Anakin were in the heat of the battle that had commenced; the fight for the facility. Of course, the fight they were participating in was only a distraction while Rex and a few select troopers went to overcharge the main reactor. A simple plan that should've already been done and dusted by now...where was Rex? What was taking so long?

Anakin was getting anxious.

Anakin's eyes flitted over to his apprentice periodically; a quick check to confirm she still possessed all of her limbs and hadn't managed to get herself into too much of a pickle. A half-smirk wormed it's way onto his face as Ahsoka threw herself into the middle of the next formation of droids; he liked this girl – she was as gutsy and courageous as he had been, perhaps that was how she'd so easily wormed her way into his heart.

Maybe he wouldn't screw this up as much as he thought her would.

Anakin turned when the force flashed a warning at him, watching with wide eyes as a small ball rolled towards him, a small circle of red light on top that blinked rapidly betrayed its purpose. He didn't have time to run, and the force screamed at him as his time drew to a close. The last thing he saw was the sight of his Padawan frozen with indecision and fear, staring white-faced at the blinking ball of destruction. He balked slightly. These Separatists could do what they liked to him...but they couldn't have _her_.

As the bomb exploded, Anakin instinctively threw his hands out and sent Ahsoka flying through the air, far away from the blast zone as the heat and power of the little weapon engulfed him. The young General was able to blissfully fade into unconsciousness after finding he'd done it; his Padawan had been too far from the bomb to be injured. She was okay. She was okay. He hadn't failed her.

* * *

A great pain that exploded in Anakin's chest roused him from unconsciousness and he lurched forwards with an almighty gasp as his drew breath into his empty lungs. Fire burnt angrily in his oxygen-deprived lungs as he scrambled to breathe.

"Don't panic, Sir." An unfamiliar voice told him steadily. He instinctively lashed out, opening his eyes wide and fearful. He was so tired. His head ached so much, and he was so...sluggish. "Sir, do you know who I am?"

Anakin looked up at the man restraining him slightly, trying to get a look at him – hard to do since the man decked out in white had an annoying habit of wobbling and splitting into three different men. "Clone." Anakin murmured, his voice hoarse and his throat burning from the effort. "Medic."

"Good, Sir. Do you know where you are?"

Anakin looked around, his mind spinning and dramatically slow – like his head was turning one second but his mind was a few minutes behind, not comprehending the change in posture for a few seconds after it had happened.

"Sir?" Anakin slowly looked up at the clone. "What's this planet called?"

Anakin shook his head and groaned in pain. "I don't-I. No. Can't. It's...I just..."

"It's alright if you don't know, Sir." The medic gently told the confused General. "This is Christophsis. Do you remember? We were sent here for the mission; the Separatist base." The medic was being careful to just give Anakin enough information to clear his confusion, and apparent amnesia, but not so much as to overwhelm him.

It took a few clumsy and groggy seconds for Anakin to blink and recall small details. His head pounded heavily with every word and image that came to mind. "Bomb."

"That's good, Sir. Yes, there was a bomb. You were caught in the blast."

One word came pummelling through Anakin's hazy consciousness; a name. However disorientated and dazed Anakin was this one word was enough to make his heart ache with worry and fear. "Ahsoka." What had happened to his Padawan? She'd had to carry on the battle without him. He'd never left her alone like that before. He'd never left her in command of an entire mission.

"The Commander sustained a blaster wound to her leg." Anakin drew a breath in. This was his fault – he should've been faster, he should've sensed the bomb earlier enough to send it coasting away. "But the droid that shot her was a poor shot, it grazed her and she's in a good condition. She's resting now."

Anakin let out that painful breath he'd been holding. Ahsoka was safe. Just a little bumped up, and he was most definitely checking that blaster shot out for himself – not that he didn't trust the medic's judgement, but rather that he needed to assess her injuries for himself or he'd never sleep. And yeah...he didn't really trust the medics judgement, not when it came to _his_ Padawan.

"Obi-Wan?" Anakin attempted to sit up but found his stomach churning and his light flashed before his eyes.

"Easy, Sir." The medic helped him sit up. "General Kenobi engaged the enemy from the south as planned, Sir. Last I heard, they were still in battle."

"What's...what's wrong with me?" Anakin asked as he gasped and leant his head back against the cool wall.

"You've sustained a concussion. There's no sign of severe bleeding or head trauma but nonetheless you need to be careful for the next few hours." He explained in the detached drawl indicative of a trained professional. This must be one of Obi-Wan's medics, none of _his_ were this aloof and unnerving, he'd broken them all of that habit years ago.

Anakin's head spun and he grabbed the bucket automatically held out to him and happily emptied his stomach. "Force, I'm seeing stars." He remarked once he was finished, blinking a few times in attempts to clear up his vision.

"Master!" A chipper young voice caused the pounding in his head to up it's tempo but he pushed aside the pain and looked over to the young girl that had just entered the tent. He let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding when he saw that all that was to show for her injury was the bacta patch securely wrapped around her leg.

The girl plonked herself on the bed heavily, ignoring the medics protests and demands for her to be quieter, Anakin bristled slightly at the man's words – he wasn't fragile and certainty didn't need rest, Anakin irritably thought to himself.

"Sorry." Ahsoka responded to the man's scolding in a tone that conveyed that she was anything but.

"It's fine." Anakin waved away the medic's protest. He sat up even straighter, this time it didn't take quite as much energy and his head didn't pound quite as much. He turned his attention to Ahsoka, it took a few seconds for him to focus on the beaming girl, but when he did his eyes narrowed a little – the medic hadn't told him about what had caused that bulky wrist brace to be wrapped halfway up her arm.

"W-what happened?" He asked in an exasperated tone; it seemed that they could not go a single mission without her walking around with some awful war wound, normally caused by some over-confident, reckless plan on her part.

This child would be the death of him.

"I fell."

Anakin didn't buy it. He replied, in a disbelieving tone – _the_ tone."You. Fell." He didn't even phrase it as a question, they both knew it was a lie.

"Yup." Ahsoka seemed to take great interest in studying the sturdy brace on her arm.

Anakin sighed, he'd used _the_ tone on her and she was sat there, bold as brass, still attempting to pull off the lie she'd fabricated. He didn't understand how _the _tone didn't work on her. It had sure worked on him whenever Obi-Wan had used it on him as a child.

Was she immune to it?

Was that normal?

"So, if I was to ask Rex what happened, he would give me the same answer, eh? Need I remind you, Ahsoka, I don't take well to being lied to?" Anakin had her there and they were both well-aware of this fact. Though, this time, Ahsoka actually acknowledged it with a loud, over-dramatic sigh.

"I hit a wall."

"Voluntarily?"

"Yeah, it just looked so obstinate that I had to take a crack at-"

"Ahsoka." Anakin growled out in a manner that made Ahsoka pull her snarky retort back and snap her mouth shut. "What do you mean you hit a wall?"

"I was thrown through the air." Ahsoka hung her head.

Anakin's stomach churned slightly, though it wasn't from the concussion this time. "By?"

"You were a little forceful when you pushed me away." Ahsoka mumbled it under her breath in the hopes he didn't hear.

Anakin could've hit face palmed; he would've had his current concussion not been giving him enough head related problems.. "I did that?" Kriffing hell, they all knew he would be a failure as a Master but he was pretty sure none of them had thought physical violence would be on the cards for him. Obi-Wan was going to kill him, and if Obi-Wan didn't finish the job, he was sure the council would have no qualms in doing it for him.

"Master..." Ahsoka's whine brought him out of his musings. "It was an accident, it wasn't your fault. Besides, I would've been so much worse off had you not thrown me away. I'm going to be fine, it was only dislocated...that hardly constitutes such a reaction." It was almost like she had known what he'd been thinking...

Anakin narrowed his eyes. "You've gotten better at penetrating people's first level of consciousness."

He was referring to the highest, least guarded level of the psyche, the one responsible for those completely conscious thoughts you had. Even so, it was a great accomplishment; Ahsoka hadn't been so good with the mind arts.

See, the mind arts were exactly that, an _art_. They took skill and patience and delicacy. You were supposed to be subtle with the mind arts, like a burglar that sneaks around unnoticeably and routes through your stuff. Ahsoka, however, had a completely counterproductive habit of barging in like she owns the place; subtlety wasn't her strong suit.

Anakin smirked at the girl and tauntingly punched her arm, lightly though – he didn't need more child abuse charges dragged up in front of him. The council were already going to kill him.

Obi-Wan was right, teaching was a privilege. The feeling when Ahsoka completed something tricky or persevered on a task she'd been failing at; it was one of the best feelings he had. For the first time, he had something – someone - to be proud of because, force knows, he was _not_ proud of any of his own achievements.

Despite his moment of sickening fondness over his Padawan, he was able to make a mental note to reinforce his shields and make it so _that_ did not happen again. Anakin shook his head, if his 16 year old self had been able to see what he would become he probably would've let it all end in a fit of disgust on some god awful backwater planet. Who would've thought Anakin Skywalker could do...overprotective, overdramatic and pure..._motherly_?

Ahsoka put her hand on her Master's shoulder in a hilariously familiar way, like she was trying to do whatever her Master did to make her feel better. "Thank you for saving me, Master." The girl then seemed to have a thought and tilted her head up in a cocky manner. "Though I still think Master Kenobi was wrong: I would've fared fine on my own."

...and the secrets spill out. So she wasn't being all fond and caring and honest out of her own volition, Obi-Wan had made her come and talk to him. He should've figured. He had a few choice words he would very much like to throw at her but he'd already been in trouble with the council about the language he used around her; all because she'd started using it herself in the most inopportune moments – her meditation classes, for example.

"But..." Apparently Ahsoka wasn't finished. "...I still appreciate the gesture." She smiled sincerely at her Master, her eyes shining slightly in memory of the worry and fear she'd been put through while her Master was unconscious. "I am glad you're okay, Skyguy."

"And I you." Anakin smirked and offhandedly added. "Snips."

* * *

"Sir, we're outnumbered here. We need immediate reinforcements," was the desperate call for help that rang through the temporary medcentre a few klicks north of the main battle.

The medic was quick to pipe in. "Sir, with all due respect, you are in no state to leave this facility. You have a rather serious concussion."

"I can go." Ahsoka chimed from beside her Master, though her comment fell on deaf ears.

"I can't just leave them to be slaughtered."

"Sir, it's what we're made to do. We're dispensable" The medic reminded the Jedi.

"I can go."

Anakin shook his head furiously. "You're not dispensable, not to me, not to anyone."

"I. Can. Go." Ahsoka reiterated firmly,

The clone took a deep, steady breath; well aware of how his next statement would be received by the explosive young General. "General, I'm afraid that in these circumstances, due to the severity of your injury, I outrank you and therefore I will not be able to allow you to return to battle."

Ahsoka threw her arms up in the air and span around, looking at everyone gathered around. "Am I invisible?" She span back to face her Master and spoke in the most patronising tone she could. "Me. Go. You. Stay." She was sure he'd register the blatant jab at his intelligence.

"My head is fine." Anakin growled out, breathing deeply for a second as he released his irritation into the force. "Now isn't the time to be overly cautious"

Ahsoka let out a huff of pure annoyance and tuned out of the conversation. Her Master had selective hearing, it was official. She slumped against the medical trolley next to her Master's bed and absent-mindedly started twirling a scalpel in her fingers. "Hey, Master, can I dissect myself?"

Anakin still paid her no mind, he was too busy arguing with the medic and throwing everything he had at the clone. The clone, to his credit, was giving as much as he got. Ahsoka was quite amused at the scene, it was brilliant how the clone could be so respectful and yet so commanding to her Master.

Anakin shook his head, intent on going back out onto the battle field. He quickly walked past Ahsoka, heading to the end of the bed where his normal uniform was folded neatly – force knows he needed to get out of this hospital gown – and he quickly and efficiently snatched the scalpel from his Padawan's hands before she injured herself and put it back on the table.

"Stop it." He sternly reprimanded the little Togruta. "It's not a toy, Ahsoka."

It took all of Ahsoka's grace and maturity to not stick her tongue out and sneer at him.

But while his attention was on her she felt the need to get an answer to her question. "Can I go help Master Kenobi?"

"Absolutely not." Came Anakin's clipped reply, and his cool glare silenced the protests that were about to erupt from the girl.

Ahsoka sat down in the visitors chair and put her head in her chin. Evidently, her Master was purposefully being difficult today and completely disregarding her pleas to be involved in the actions. She almost chuckled when the medic threatened to anesthetise her Master – that would be fun to watch – but she could understand the medic's point, even she could see the state her Master was in. He was still quite concussed. He hadn't even noticed how she'd been manipulating the emotions of the room through the force in attempts to calm him a little.

Wait...he hadn't noticed that; not at all. He would've scolded her. He despised when she did that.

Well, what else could she get away with?

Ahsoka sat straighter as an idea came to her head and she smirked behind her hand.

* * *

While Ahsoka was beyond proud of her selfless actions, which had probably saved her Master's life, said Master couldn't quite share her sentiments. The med-droids were kind enough to devote all their attention to getting her Master back up as soon as possible. So, luckily for her, when she finally awoke in the medbay of the Resolute, her Master was already up and waiting...a lecture prepared on the tip of his tongue.

Turns out, Master's don't like it when you put your life in danger– Ahsoka made a mental note of that for future reference, thought she doubted she would ever actually use said note. Ahsoka grimaced a little as her Master's tone increased as he got more annoyed while reviewing her 'disobedient' actions. He apparently wasn't too pleased about her taking advantage of his concussion and using it to test her new found prowess in mind-tricks.

Ahsoka thought it was rather clever of her, to be honest, and it had gone off without a hitch. She'd been able to give the support needed to the troops so that Master Kenobi could go and finish the mission and blow up the reactor of this force-accursed facility.

Without her, there was no way Master Kenobi would've been able to leave the troops. She'd done well, yet nobody was acknowledging this. Well...Master Kenobi seemed quite amused by it all, but no-one had come over and been all '_nice job, Ahsoka_' or '_you saved the day, Snips_'. Nope, all she got was a boring lecture from Master Skywalker about proper Padawan behaviour, obedience and all that other good stuff that she couldn't remember since she'd long since tuned out.

Apparently nobody knew a good job when they saw it!

Ahsoka nodded every now and then and added a '_sorry, Master_' to give the appearance of her paying attention but her stomach kept growling and her painkillers were wearing off so her little scrapes and gunshot wounds were aching a bit, so all she could think about was getting this over and done with since she had an endless list of places she'd rather be. No. 1 was the medbay for some kriffing painkillers.

Ahsoka flinched when she realised she'd been broadcasting a little and her Master had heard that last thought and wasn't overly pleased – the foul language hadn't exactly enamoured him either, he was cracking down on that since she was following his lead and cursing at will – and thus had proclaimed that a lecture '_wasn't good enough, this time'_ and had then proclaimed her '_grounded'_, force knows what that meant.

No, Ahsoka wasn't quite sure what this '_grounded'_ thing was. Perhaps it just meant she wasn't allowed to fly her fighter for a while. Yeah, grounded generally meant the 'grounding' of planes or fighters when conditions dictated it. She'd check the specifics of it later. She could live with that...it was better than full restriction to her quarters – her crèche Master had been fond of that one back when she was still a youngling. She'd _hated_ it.

Ahsoka was also quite happy with herself, for more reasons than saving her Master. This had been the first proper time that Anakin had actually had to do more than give her a small reprimand, and Ahsoka had learnt from this new experience that when her Master was angry, he tended to forget things; such as, the small fact that he couldn't forbid her to go on missions for two weeks because they were on meditative leave, so wouldn't be eligible anyway.

So, Ahsoka leant back against her bed and smiled almost cockily. She was only restricted from flying, which wouldn't be happening anyway since she'd be at the temple. Well, this went better than she planned.

Unfortunately, the young Togruta's small cocky grin would disappear in record time when her Master had calmed down enough to explain exactly what grounded meant.

Though, despite her absolute horror at this childish punishment that had been bestowed on her, she felt her heart swell with some happiness; Anakin _cared._ He had been _worried_ about her.

Ahsoka knew that her Master had accepted her now...but sometimes she forgot, so it was nice to be reminded that her Master did care about her because she cared so much about him; he was one of the most important people in her life, she respected him more than anyone.

Yes, it was nice to know that someone cared about her, Ahsoka decided that she liked that feeling very much. She liked to know that, should anything happen to her, that someone would care...that someone would be worried about her.

* * *

Years later, Ahsoka realised that when she'd woken after passing out from exhaustion because of that very difficult and draining battle - after very cheekily mind-tricking into letting her go – that was the very first time in her whole life where she'd felt loved. It didn't matter that Anakin was furious and worried and disappointed because the fact that he cared enough to feel those emotions had filled the little Togruta with joy. It was such a small thing but it meant the world to her.

It would always mean the world to her.

She'd been a cocky kid, an absolute pain, she knew that - she honestly did wonder why her Master had put up with her – but Anakin _had_ put up with her, he'd done more than that: he'd loved her despite her irritating, disobedient and frankly appalling attitude. He'd stuck with her through everything and had made her aspire to be a better person because he led by example and just being around him made want to do more, to _be_ more.

So, even though they had gone their separate paths, him staying a Jedi and her leaving to find something more, she would always keep what his lessons taught her – a part of him would always live inside her – and, because of that, wherever she was...he would be too.

She'd make him proud.


End file.
